All eyes are shut for the time...everyone in sleep,lost on their dreams while i sit here and type..there is nothing like sleep in these eyes... All i cn see now is how close m to the end..i sit back and reflect on the path traversed so far...it was a rocky path...filled wid all kinds of hurdles and roadblocks...i crossed some wid ease while some left me bruised nd bleeding...sometimes the pain was strong enough to leave d corners of my eyes moistened...but i still welcomed all those wid a smile..coz i knew that there was no point in crying for the lost blood...many a times hope shined through the dark clouds of despair,a promising light,that i felt would lead me to something called happiness...but i should have known it well,illusions are always there on a path to draw 1 away from it...i just should have taken more care...but whatever happened,i got distracted,fell on the way,i was always back on the journey,limping at times,crawling at some,n even sprinting at many....i look around now,its all darkness...no light...just far reaching darkness..
There are so many people around but noone knows or feels my absence...well that gives me the satisfaction that noone will be missin me wen m gone,,,that makes it so much easier for me to go ahead with my decision...not that everyone matters to me here...but i did feel that i had made atleast that much of a difference in atleast one person's life that atleast a tear cud be expected on my departure...the one person that has lead me to take this decision...
A new day has begun...we all are off to pray...i am gonna pray to the almighty to just gimme enough strength to bear wid dis pain amd to carry forward this decision of mine...its not that easy for me...each moment feels like a mountaineering task...even when she z by my side,sitting next to me,feels she is far fetched n the feelin of telling her how much i care but still not being able to tell her how deep those feelings go even makes the breathing next to impossible...each moment now,i just want this crisis to end...people despise me,say that i dunno how to enjoy,how to live life...they could be ryt but what do i do??my life has become so complicated in itself...the reasons that light me up are not the same as all others...i m a different person,not all good i know but there are reasons behind these periods of silence...whenever this weakling grows too filled with emotions and words that cannot be expressed,i have to go quiet...u could stay away from me for i am so or cud just try to understand what these silent eyes are trying to say..either way u are gonna be far far away from me...so i wud prefer u take the first path...coz there atleast u wud not be alone...n also u wud not have to feel what i am going thru...even though its gonna be harder for me till the end but still,i can get thru dis too...today i am gonna pray...pray for strength...for me to cross over easily n quickly n for u to forget dat i ever existed just like a day old news that never matters...i am gonna pray for all who could be affected by this step of mine...
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